4 Things That Super Parents Do
- lesliecochrane99
- Dec 10, 2023
- 3 min read
What You Can Do To Help Your Kiddos Be Mentally Stronger
By Leslie Cochrane, LPC, of Cochrane Counseling, LLC
We all want our children to be mentally strong and emotionally resilient throughout their lives. It's important to consider how we parent our children because our actions and words can significantly shape their mental strength and set a course for their future.
I am sharing these 4 things with you all to provide guidance to those parents who are seeking, and to provide validation to those who are doing them. Parenting is a journey full of beauty and challenges, and I have the utmost respect for all parents who are on the journey.
Know age-appropriate behaviors.
When we know normal childhood development and/or behavioral expectations, we are better equipped to recognize them in our children. As a young parent I had set my expectations a bit too high and that caused frustration for my child. We were able to recover from my mistake and all is well now, but I did learn the importance of appropriate expectations for children. When children can succeed they feel more secure.
As your child grows you will be able to notice when normal behavioral changes happen. Such as when your young teenager is seeking more independence and can handle some responsibilities. Knowing the norm will help you with supervising your teenager while allowing them to develop normally.
2. Give attention to good behaviors.
Nobody wants to be constantly corrected and your children will have a low self-worth and negative mindset when all they hear is correction. Many adults are haunted by their parents' negative comments, and they do not have the self confidence to achieve success.
When being corrected is how they receive attention, children will learn that they can get more attention by acting up. Most parents can change that behavior by learning to catch their children doing good behaviors and giving them verbal praise for the good choices.
3. Be kind to the other parent.
It is so easy to make negative comments and to complain about our child's other parent. But when you speak poorly of your child's other parent, it hurts your child only, there is no hurt to the other parent. Your child is a product of both parents and when someone says negative things about either parent, the child feels negative. Parents can determine if there is something that a child must know, especially if a child's safety is at risk.
Children often feel that they are to blame if the parents are mad at each other. Some children are traumatized when the parents are yelling and arguing loudly. For the sake of your child's mental health, try to have discussions rather then yelling matches, and avoid complaining about the other parent to your child.
4. Set healthy boundaries and rules.
Setting house rules and keeping them is very positive for a child. Children like to know the rules and boundaries so they can feel more at ease and happy. Research has proven that children are more anxious and fearful when they do not know the rules, or when the rules keep changing. Rules should be age appropriate so they will be changed in time as the child ages. Punishments should not be too harsh, and parents can use common sense to make exceptions to the rules as needed.
Parents are providing their children with a sense of self-control as they learn to follow the rules. They also provide the children with the ability to compromise and have healthier relationships as they develop.
